[Ronan agrees readily to the kissing, tucking himself gently against Adam's side so that they can stay pressed together for the next little while. It's sweet and reassuring, and when Adam mentions staying in the same room, Ronan nods enthusiastically.]
Shit, I've had my sledgehammer ready for weeks.
[But the idea of moving is... a little new maybe, and Ronan gives pause at that. So much has happened in this house- there are bloodstains from the zombie attacks, broken cabinets from Ronan's tantrums and, of course, the ghosts of everyone who'd came and gone away again. There's still Gansey's Room and Noah's Room and Blue's mug and even the scuff mark Henry left on the table when he dropped a plate- the entire place is haunted by their friends, and Ronan had never even entertained the idea of leaving before.
He hesitates for a moment, but doesn't pull away from Adam, instead reaching a hand out for him and offering the other boy a slight smile.]
[He answers honestly. Adam is conflicted. A lot of bad things have happened here - a lot of very bad things. Losing his hand, finding Ronan's body, friends disappearing, a whole list of awful memories. But good things have happened too - laughter, Noah's glitter ending up in the strangest of places, chatting with Gansey, the warm domesticity they've somehow found themselves in. They kissed at him, but Ronan kissed him for the first time here, too, and - well, more.
The house itself is not in great shape, though Adam tries to keep it relatively clean and in semi-decent repair. But though he's not as bad as Ronan, he's still a teenage boy, and sometimes he just doesn't feel like repairing a broken drawer handle or scolding Aspen for chewing on the sofa. And it's true that it's too big for them now, that they're only two people who share a bed more often than not. They don't need a four-person house when one room would probably do.
But leaving would also feel like admitting the others might not come back, and Adam doesn't know if he's ready to do that.]
It would be more practical. But I guess what I really want is just to not have to think about whether we're staying together at night - I want to be able to fall asleep next to you without thinking about whether it's your bed or mine. It doesn't really matter where that happens.
[Ronan nods, not hesitating for a moment. This is something that he's wanted for a long while, and though he's also not sure about leaving this house that has so many memories- he's definitely sure about staying with Adam.]
So we get rid of a bed. No more question then.
[He says this as he leans in, slipping his fingers around Adam's neck to pull him closer and in for a moment of intimacy. They already sleep together most nights, but never without some form of confusion or hesitation- yours or mine, is tonight okay, did I wake you?- and it'd be nice to get rid of that entirely.
The rest of the house... well, they can decide that later. For now, it's the small things that he's choosing to focus on. Those are the things that are going to get him back up and running, after all of this.]
Hell, I'll light one up for you. We can push it into the street and start a bonfire.
[He leans in, resting his forehead against Ronan's, and smiles.]
I should have known this would eventually involve destruction of some kind. What if someone else wants an extra bed?
[The question is more amused than serious. If someone did want one, there are plenty of empty apartments it could be taken from, and those beds would be in better shape, not chewed on by dogs and pecked at by birds and used by two teenagers in a budding relationships.]
That might be fun, though.
[Adam thinks they both need some way to work some of this off, the pain and fear and loss, the powerlessness. Maybe it's silly, and maybe Ronan just said it as a joke, but Adam doesn't think it's a bad idea. He wants to do something mostly meaningless, something easy and silly that won't hurt them, and then he wants to climb in bed with Ronan afterward and kiss him and be able to wake up next to him and know that he's okay. Know that they're together.]
[Ronan says with a laugh- because really, if nobody needed Adam's bed before, they wouldn't need it now. And he's sure that Adam is going to refuse anyway, the idea was mostly in jest- so when Adam actually takes him up on it, he actually has to double take a little.]
...you think?
[Because really , it sounds fun to Ronan. He's always been a fan of destruction in general, and what better way to pay homage to this beautiful thing between them than to just set Adam's bed on fire? There's no going back after that, and if Ronan pisses Adam off, then... well, he can probably sleep on the couch or something. More incentive not to, at any rate.]
'cause I can drag it out right now. The frame isn't that heavy.
[It's impossible not to love how ready Ronan is to commit property destruction and light something on fire. And Adam already agreed, after all. If they're really going to start sharing a bed, sharing a room, they might as well start now. Before Adam can overthink things and change his mind - though he doesn't actually think he would.]
All right. Let's do it.
[It takes a bit of willpower to pull away from Ronan and stand up, but Adam manages, holding out a hand to help Ronan up too.]
I'll give you a hand.
[He's not gonna make Ronan do it himself. Figures their idea of a couples activity involves minor arson. Adam can list the rest of the things they've done that might also count as 'couples activities', and it's a little alarming how many of them involve breaking the law or coming very close. Ronan's better at making him be a little irresponsible than anyone else he's ever met.]
[Ronan grins- a reckless, stupidly bright thing, considering everything they've been through in the past few days- and reaches up to grab at Adam's hand, gripping onto the other boy's fingers hard enough to feel their bones press against one another and using his help to stand. He's savagely pleased, both with Adam deciding to let him burn the mattress, and with the actual act of getting rid of Adam's bed so that there can be no more excuses between them.
He leaves Adam's door propped open, moving into the other boy's room like he knows his way around (he does) and like he just has permission to gallivant in there whenever the mood strikes him (he does). The bed is- well, not perfectly made, but generally in a neater condition than Ronan's own.
If that throws him off then he doesn't show it, taking long strides toward the frame before reaching out and tugging at the mattress without bothering to do so much as remove the sheets.]
[He can't handle it when Ronan smiles like that. It pulls at every piece of his heart, it makes it impossible not to smile in return. He likes Ronan when he's glowering, when he's angry, when he's careless or indifferent, but when Ronan smiles like that - well, it's frankly unfair.
But Adam doesn't say anything, just tucks the memory of Ronan's smile away for later and follows him into Adam's room. He's amused that it's his bed that's being burned, really - not that it makes any difference. At this point, he spends at least as much time in Ronan's bed.]
Yeah, I can handle that.
[He helps Ronan balance the mattress first, getting it up off the bed, before getting to work on his own burden. The beds are big enough for two, but luckily not king-size - that wouldn't be much fun. As it is, handling either the mattress or the box is more than enough for one person, and it's a bit of an effort to follow Ronan out, dragging them through the living room and outside onto the street. Or path. Or whatever it is.]
[His arms ache a little from dragging and maneuvering the mattress all the way out onto the street- without the rigid form of the box spring, it flops around too easily and Ronan found himself having a little trouble with it. Still, they'd both made it out there in one piece, and Ronan lets the mattress fall to the dirt ground, before quickly jotting back inside to get a lighter.
This would be more fun with kerosene, but they don't have anything more flammable than regular fabric and springs, and so Ronan briefly regrets not planning better for this. But it's spontaneous and fun and it's a good way for them both to forget what had happened to Ronan- or at least overwrite it with a better memory- and so he settles for grabbing at the matches and moves back outside.
It'd be gentlemanly to let Adam do the honors, but Ronan thinks that he'd enjoy it more, and so he strikes one of the matches and tosses it into the middle of the bed, his eyes lighting up at the casual destruction in front of him.]
We have something kind of like hot dogs. Maybe vegan though, or some weird alien meat.
[But they came in a package, and Aspen was happy to test them first, so Adam at least knows they're edible.]
If you want to get creative.
[He's smiling - just a little, but it's a genuine smile, something that seemed impossible not so long ago. When Ronan was dead, and his double was running around, and Adam was living with all of that. But Ronan is back, and it's all over, and they can get back to something resembling happiness. They'll be together, at least, and Adam has silently vowed that he won't ever let anything like that happen to Ronan again. No matter what he has to do.
He was perfectly happy to let Ronan indulge his love of arson, and he's perfectly happy now to watch most of his bed burn. It's a big step, a rather final one, for all that they've been regularly sharing a bed for months now. But he doesn't feel any uncertainty or regret - just amusement that this is how it goes, that somehow it involves fire and property destruction. That and a quiet contentment at having Ronan next to him.]
[He chides, though he's sure that Adam probably feels the same way. They have to make do with what they have though, and Ronan doesn't feel like running back inside in order to get the weird maybe-vegan, maybe-alien-meat substance to toast over the open flames.
It spreads slower than he'd have thought, but Ronan thinks that they have plenty of time to just relax and watch as the flames crackle higher into the evening air of the cave. Adam is warm and happy next to him, and if nothing else then Ronan is glad that he was able to get the opportunity to take the other boy's mind off of what had happened, even if he'd done it with arson. Well... maybe he's extra happy because he got to do it with arson. Oh well.]
Here- sit down.
[Ronan shuffles downward to sit on the rocks, wrapping his arms around his legs and reaching for a nearby pebble to toss into the flames.]
[He lowers himself down on the rocks next to Ronan. Right now there's nothing he wants to do but sit here and watch the fire. Maybe this can be symbolic - the fire burning away everything that's happened. It's not so easy, of course, it can't all disappear so quickly. But it helps.]
I can do that.
[Adam sits close, right up against Ronan's side, and slips an arm around him, at his waist. It's a quiet gesture, but Adam feel like right now touching Ronan is what he needs. A solid reminder that they're together, that Ronan came back to him and - eventually - things might be okay.]
I'll keep an eye out for marshmallows. You know, for the next time we decide to burn something.
[He sounds amused, but it's not entirely a joke. Who knows when they'll need - or want - to do something like this again?]
[Ronan stops himself from saying that next time will probably happen sooner than he thinks, what with Ronan's own propensity for petty destruction. Arson has never quite been his MO, but he can't say that it's unpleasant, sitting here with Adam with the heat of the fire blanketing over them both.
He settles into Adam's shoulder, the anxiety and guilt and desperation from earlier slowly fading away and letting his posture go slack. Adam is warm and alive and Ronan is alive too, despite feeling death creep in around him just a few days ago, and right now, the fact that he can see Adam again, that he can touch him and smell his scent and still be here- it's overwhelming.
So he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to the underside of Adam's jaw.]
I love you.
[He doesn't say it very often, but this is is a special occasion that makes it worth repeating twice in one conversation. It's softer this time, tinged in a little awe, ready to fall back into their normal rhythm after he's done being so fucking appreciative of what he has right now- Adam's arm around him, Adam's warmth pressing against him, the heat and light of the fire and the knowledge that this isn't going to be stopped by something as simple as death.]
[Ronan says it so rarely, and Adam has still never heard those words from anyone else. He doesn't think he ever will. So he treasures each time, each moment when Ronan finds it within him to say I love you. That probably won't ever change. And they're here, together.
Everything that happened before was - awful, and Adam isn't going to forget it quickly. He knows he'll probably dream about Ronan's unmoving body, the creature with his face, how he didn't realized - how he let it close. He'll dream, and he'll wake up miserable, but at least Ronan will be there. He'll be able to curl up closer to him and breathe him in and remind himself that whatever happened, it's over now. It hasn't changed them, it hasn't ruined them.]
I love you too.
[Adam stays where he is, pressed up next to Ronan, watching the fire. It's soothing, in a way, though he knows he probably shouldn't encourage property destruction - but right now it helps.
They're going to be okay. Ronan is back with him, and Adam won't let him get hurt like that again, and they're taking another careful step in their relationship. A year ago, Adam would not have dreamed they'd be here, but now he can't imagine not having Ronan next to him.]
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action
Shit, I've had my sledgehammer ready for weeks.
[But the idea of moving is... a little new maybe, and Ronan gives pause at that. So much has happened in this house- there are bloodstains from the zombie attacks, broken cabinets from Ronan's tantrums and, of course, the ghosts of everyone who'd came and gone away again. There's still Gansey's Room and Noah's Room and Blue's mug and even the scuff mark Henry left on the table when he dropped a plate- the entire place is haunted by their friends, and Ronan had never even entertained the idea of leaving before.
He hesitates for a moment, but doesn't pull away from Adam, instead reaching a hand out for him and offering the other boy a slight smile.]
Do you want to move?
action
[He answers honestly. Adam is conflicted. A lot of bad things have happened here - a lot of very bad things. Losing his hand, finding Ronan's body, friends disappearing, a whole list of awful memories. But good things have happened too - laughter, Noah's glitter ending up in the strangest of places, chatting with Gansey, the warm domesticity they've somehow found themselves in. They kissed at him, but Ronan kissed him for the first time here, too, and - well, more.
The house itself is not in great shape, though Adam tries to keep it relatively clean and in semi-decent repair. But though he's not as bad as Ronan, he's still a teenage boy, and sometimes he just doesn't feel like repairing a broken drawer handle or scolding Aspen for chewing on the sofa. And it's true that it's too big for them now, that they're only two people who share a bed more often than not. They don't need a four-person house when one room would probably do.
But leaving would also feel like admitting the others might not come back, and Adam doesn't know if he's ready to do that.]
It would be more practical. But I guess what I really want is just to not have to think about whether we're staying together at night - I want to be able to fall asleep next to you without thinking about whether it's your bed or mine. It doesn't really matter where that happens.
action
So we get rid of a bed. No more question then.
[He says this as he leans in, slipping his fingers around Adam's neck to pull him closer and in for a moment of intimacy. They already sleep together most nights, but never without some form of confusion or hesitation- yours or mine, is tonight okay, did I wake you?- and it'd be nice to get rid of that entirely.
The rest of the house... well, they can decide that later. For now, it's the small things that he's choosing to focus on. Those are the things that are going to get him back up and running, after all of this.]
Hell, I'll light one up for you. We can push it into the street and start a bonfire.
action
I should have known this would eventually involve destruction of some kind. What if someone else wants an extra bed?
[The question is more amused than serious. If someone did want one, there are plenty of empty apartments it could be taken from, and those beds would be in better shape, not chewed on by dogs and pecked at by birds and used by two teenagers in a budding relationships.]
That might be fun, though.
[Adam thinks they both need some way to work some of this off, the pain and fear and loss, the powerlessness. Maybe it's silly, and maybe Ronan just said it as a joke, but Adam doesn't think it's a bad idea. He wants to do something mostly meaningless, something easy and silly that won't hurt them, and then he wants to climb in bed with Ronan afterward and kiss him and be able to wake up next to him and know that he's okay. Know that they're together.]
action
[Ronan says with a laugh- because really, if nobody needed Adam's bed before, they wouldn't need it now. And he's sure that Adam is going to refuse anyway, the idea was mostly in jest- so when Adam actually takes him up on it, he actually has to double take a little.]
...you think?
[Because really , it sounds fun to Ronan. He's always been a fan of destruction in general, and what better way to pay homage to this beautiful thing between them than to just set Adam's bed on fire? There's no going back after that, and if Ronan pisses Adam off, then... well, he can probably sleep on the couch or something. More incentive not to, at any rate.]
'cause I can drag it out right now. The frame isn't that heavy.
action
All right. Let's do it.
[It takes a bit of willpower to pull away from Ronan and stand up, but Adam manages, holding out a hand to help Ronan up too.]
I'll give you a hand.
[He's not gonna make Ronan do it himself. Figures their idea of a couples activity involves minor arson. Adam can list the rest of the things they've done that might also count as 'couples activities', and it's a little alarming how many of them involve breaking the law or coming very close. Ronan's better at making him be a little irresponsible than anyone else he's ever met.]
action
He leaves Adam's door propped open, moving into the other boy's room like he knows his way around (he does) and like he just has permission to gallivant in there whenever the mood strikes him (he does). The bed is- well, not perfectly made, but generally in a neater condition than Ronan's own.
If that throws him off then he doesn't show it, taking long strides toward the frame before reaching out and tugging at the mattress without bothering to do so much as remove the sheets.]
You wanna get the box beneath? Follow me out?
action
But Adam doesn't say anything, just tucks the memory of Ronan's smile away for later and follows him into Adam's room. He's amused that it's his bed that's being burned, really - not that it makes any difference. At this point, he spends at least as much time in Ronan's bed.]
Yeah, I can handle that.
[He helps Ronan balance the mattress first, getting it up off the bed, before getting to work on his own burden. The beds are big enough for two, but luckily not king-size - that wouldn't be much fun. As it is, handling either the mattress or the box is more than enough for one person, and it's a bit of an effort to follow Ronan out, dragging them through the living room and outside onto the street. Or path. Or whatever it is.]
Here's probably good.
action
[His arms ache a little from dragging and maneuvering the mattress all the way out onto the street- without the rigid form of the box spring, it flops around too easily and Ronan found himself having a little trouble with it. Still, they'd both made it out there in one piece, and Ronan lets the mattress fall to the dirt ground, before quickly jotting back inside to get a lighter.
This would be more fun with kerosene, but they don't have anything more flammable than regular fabric and springs, and so Ronan briefly regrets not planning better for this. But it's spontaneous and fun and it's a good way for them both to forget what had happened to Ronan- or at least overwrite it with a better memory- and so he settles for grabbing at the matches and moves back outside.
It'd be gentlemanly to let Adam do the honors, but Ronan thinks that he'd enjoy it more, and so he strikes one of the matches and tosses it into the middle of the bed, his eyes lighting up at the casual destruction in front of him.]
Shame we don't have marshmallows.
action
[But they came in a package, and Aspen was happy to test them first, so Adam at least knows they're edible.]
If you want to get creative.
[He's smiling - just a little, but it's a genuine smile, something that seemed impossible not so long ago. When Ronan was dead, and his double was running around, and Adam was living with all of that. But Ronan is back, and it's all over, and they can get back to something resembling happiness. They'll be together, at least, and Adam has silently vowed that he won't ever let anything like that happen to Ronan again. No matter what he has to do.
He was perfectly happy to let Ronan indulge his love of arson, and he's perfectly happy now to watch most of his bed burn. It's a big step, a rather final one, for all that they've been regularly sharing a bed for months now. But he doesn't feel any uncertainty or regret - just amusement that this is how it goes, that somehow it involves fire and property destruction. That and a quiet contentment at having Ronan next to him.]
action
[He chides, though he's sure that Adam probably feels the same way. They have to make do with what they have though, and Ronan doesn't feel like running back inside in order to get the weird maybe-vegan, maybe-alien-meat substance to toast over the open flames.
It spreads slower than he'd have thought, but Ronan thinks that they have plenty of time to just relax and watch as the flames crackle higher into the evening air of the cave. Adam is warm and happy next to him, and if nothing else then Ronan is glad that he was able to get the opportunity to take the other boy's mind off of what had happened, even if he'd done it with arson. Well... maybe he's extra happy because he got to do it with arson. Oh well.]
Here- sit down.
[Ronan shuffles downward to sit on the rocks, wrapping his arms around his legs and reaching for a nearby pebble to toss into the flames.]
Hang out with me.
action
I can do that.
[Adam sits close, right up against Ronan's side, and slips an arm around him, at his waist. It's a quiet gesture, but Adam feel like right now touching Ronan is what he needs. A solid reminder that they're together, that Ronan came back to him and - eventually - things might be okay.]
I'll keep an eye out for marshmallows. You know, for the next time we decide to burn something.
[He sounds amused, but it's not entirely a joke. Who knows when they'll need - or want - to do something like this again?]
action
He settles into Adam's shoulder, the anxiety and guilt and desperation from earlier slowly fading away and letting his posture go slack. Adam is warm and alive and Ronan is alive too, despite feeling death creep in around him just a few days ago, and right now, the fact that he can see Adam again, that he can touch him and smell his scent and still be here- it's overwhelming.
So he leans in, pressing a soft kiss to the underside of Adam's jaw.]
I love you.
[He doesn't say it very often, but this is is a special occasion that makes it worth repeating twice in one conversation. It's softer this time, tinged in a little awe, ready to fall back into their normal rhythm after he's done being so fucking appreciative of what he has right now- Adam's arm around him, Adam's warmth pressing against him, the heat and light of the fire and the knowledge that this isn't going to be stopped by something as simple as death.]
action
Everything that happened before was - awful, and Adam isn't going to forget it quickly. He knows he'll probably dream about Ronan's unmoving body, the creature with his face, how he didn't realized - how he let it close. He'll dream, and he'll wake up miserable, but at least Ronan will be there. He'll be able to curl up closer to him and breathe him in and remind himself that whatever happened, it's over now. It hasn't changed them, it hasn't ruined them.]
I love you too.
[Adam stays where he is, pressed up next to Ronan, watching the fire. It's soothing, in a way, though he knows he probably shouldn't encourage property destruction - but right now it helps.
They're going to be okay. Ronan is back with him, and Adam won't let him get hurt like that again, and they're taking another careful step in their relationship. A year ago, Adam would not have dreamed they'd be here, but now he can't imagine not having Ronan next to him.]