[it's probably after midnight when gansey goes and knocks lightly on ronan's door. he's been avoiding him. he's been avoiding all of them, burying himself in his notebooks, in his maps, in his own mind.
he's thought a lot since he turned and walked up the stairs, leaving adam and ronan to argue over what should have been done, to share more secrets that gansey hasn't given anyone a chance to tell him, even if they would. he's turned the whole thing over and over in his mind, worn the sharp edges off the thing, made sea-glass from a jagged bottle shard. as with the edges, the anger is worn away, or at least he's too weary of being angry to keep holding onto it. the sharp stab of betrayal has softened into a bruise, the sort that only hurts when it's poked at. he's come to see ronan first, because he still isn't entirely sure what to say to adam. it's easier to forgive ronan for not telling a secret that wasn't his, because that's just ronan. bludgeoningly truthful except by omission, with plenty of the latter. he feels like an empty vessel, peacefully full of omissions.
gansey holds all of this carefully in his mind as he stands at the door, waiting to see if ronan will answer.]
[Truth be told, Ronan is expecting Adam when he opens the door. Gansey hasn't really spoken to them in a few days, and as familiar as Ronan is with the tides of Gansey's anger, this feels different somehow, final. Not the end of a friendship, but the beginning of a crack in it, something that could easily fragment into something far worse.
But he doesn't try to fix it. Why would he? There's really nothing else that he can say that wasn't already said. They have a fundamentally different way of looking at the issue, and Ronan isn't about to back down and let Adam take the brunt of Gansey's silence, not when he finally knows what's really going on here.
Still. Gansey is at the door.
He doesn't look particularly surprised to see him when he opens it, though it is a surprise. Ronan merely tilts his head a little and opens the door open another few inches, before leaning against the frame.]
[Outside of Ronan's door are four t-shirts, neatly folded, because apparently Ronan won't find clothes for himself and Adam doesn't have any more to spare. Three are black, one is gray - Adam definitely considered leaving the bright orange one he found, but somehow he doubts it would be appreciated. He took some time finding these, they're all the right size and made of soft fabric, and none are too dangerously uncool or Gansey-esque. It's not like Ronan's sense of style is difficult to understand, after all.
It's difficult to find gifts for someone who can dream themselves whatever they want, but at least these will probably be useful. Resting atop the shirts is a small packet of nuts - for Chainsaw, but hey, if Ronan wants them he can have them - and a sprig of pine, because what else is Adam supposed to do with the gifts Cabeswater gives him sometimes? At least it makes everything smell nice. Anyway, it's not like he can give Ronan flowers.
[gansey, for all his ability at grand gestures, is not that great at gifts, where his friends are concerned. it's so difficult to walk the line of want and need, and ronan can dream everything he wants and needs.
except he doesn't, so gansey's gifts are practical. socks, underwear (really, gansey, who gives their best friends underwear??? especially in those colors, but beggars and choosers), a pair of jeans he knows ronan won't object to. there's a small pouch of shiny trinkets for chainsaw as well as some dried fruits, which could be for either of them, really. there's no note, but who else does he know that's ridiculous enough to give him brightly patterned socks?]
[To one or both of those statements- it's not really that easy to tell.
He'll be there, though- he's got nothing better to do and part of him feels like he owes Peter for helping him dig for so long. Ronan doesn't like feeling like he owes people, so it's best to just give Peter some company and get it over with.]
[He knows the moment Ronan is resurrected. He's kept Chainsaw with him - both to keep her safe and so that he'll know. He knows that she'll come back to life when Ronan does, and it's much more practical than spending day at night at Hope's temple, though he did consider that and part of him wanted to. But Adam has to be practical, and that means continuing his usual routine while he waits for Ronan to come back. Partly because it needs to be done, partly because staying busy is the only thing keeping him from falling apart.
But the second Chainsaw awakens, he abandons what he was doing. Adam takes out his phone to text Ronan and find where he is - and the network post makes it even easier. And then he's heading home, carrying a basket of fruit that Chainsaw used to be sleeping in, the raven flying above. He's on foot - he couldn't balance the basket and his backpack and Chainsaw safely on a moped - so it takes longer than he'd like.
Finally, though, he's pushing the door open to their house.]
Ronan?
[His voice is ever-so-slightly shaky. Some part of Adam, even knowing better, was afraid that he would never see Ronan, the real Ronan, again.]
[Ronan isn't missing in action for long. He'd made it home awhile before Adam had, and he'd been pacing around the kitchen ever since, just trying to get his thoughts in order. He can remember things that he never did, he remembers two things at the same time, and then when they converged- he died. He knows that much is true.
There isn't a ton of time to mull over it though, because Adam is opening the door and calling his name, and Ronan's head jerks up at the sound of it, before he's rushing forward to throw his arms around Adam's shoulders as quickly as he can. His heart is pounding for some reason, his breath coming out quickly and fuck, he's needed this, he's missed him somehow, even in death. Ronan remembers being horrible to him and it's hard to separate everything out in his head when he never meant to do any of it.]
Adam.
[He says the other boy's name on a relieved exhale, pressing his lips gently against the other boy's deaf ear. Ronan holds him tight, with the door still open and Adam hardly crossed over the threshold because he needs him and he needs to say so many things, but- this first. This is too important to not do.]
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two days after noah tells gansey a secret.
he's thought a lot since he turned and walked up the stairs, leaving adam and ronan to argue over what should have been done, to share more secrets that gansey hasn't given anyone a chance to tell him, even if they would. he's turned the whole thing over and over in his mind, worn the sharp edges off the thing, made sea-glass from a jagged bottle shard. as with the edges, the anger is worn away, or at least he's too weary of being angry to keep holding onto it. the sharp stab of betrayal has softened into a bruise, the sort that only hurts when it's poked at. he's come to see ronan first, because he still isn't entirely sure what to say to adam. it's easier to forgive ronan for not telling a secret that wasn't his, because that's just ronan. bludgeoningly truthful except by omission, with plenty of the latter. he feels like an empty vessel, peacefully full of omissions.
gansey holds all of this carefully in his mind as he stands at the door, waiting to see if ronan will answer.]
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But he doesn't try to fix it. Why would he? There's really nothing else that he can say that wasn't already said. They have a fundamentally different way of looking at the issue, and Ronan isn't about to back down and let Adam take the brunt of Gansey's silence, not when he finally knows what's really going on here.
Still. Gansey is at the door.
He doesn't look particularly surprised to see him when he opens it, though it is a surprise. Ronan merely tilts his head a little and opens the door open another few inches, before leaning against the frame.]
What is it?
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12/25
It's difficult to find gifts for someone who can dream themselves whatever they want, but at least these will probably be useful. Resting atop the shirts is a small packet of nuts - for Chainsaw, but hey, if Ronan wants them he can have them - and a sprig of pine, because what else is Adam supposed to do with the gifts Cabeswater gives him sometimes? At least it makes everything smell nice. Anyway, it's not like he can give Ronan flowers.
There's no note.]
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except he doesn't, so gansey's gifts are practical. socks, underwear (really, gansey, who gives their best friends underwear??? especially in those colors, but beggars and choosers), a pair of jeans he knows ronan won't object to. there's a small pouch of shiny trinkets for chainsaw as well as some dried fruits, which could be for either of them, really. there's no note, but who else does he know that's ridiculous enough to give him brightly patterned socks?]
[voice]
If you want a drink and a smoke, I'm hanging around Fear's shrine.
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[To one or both of those statements- it's not really that easy to tell.
He'll be there, though- he's got nothing better to do and part of him feels like he owes Peter for helping him dig for so long. Ronan doesn't like feeling like he owes people, so it's best to just give Peter some company and get it over with.]
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backdated to shortly after Bruce's first hulk out
[He checks, quietly.]
When you have a minute-
[voice - hours later]
[It's a little gruff, but at least it's a response. Bruce probably shouldn't expect much more from him at this point.]
What do you want?
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backdated to pre-assassin event
You believe in the Devil, right?
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why?
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So thanks.
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Misfiring
What does it look like?
hoo boy
:D
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?!?!?!? I never got this notif!!!
!!!!
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Text im so sorry gansey
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Text; this kind of thing is why I even have this icon jsyk
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action 1/26
But the second Chainsaw awakens, he abandons what he was doing. Adam takes out his phone to text Ronan and find where he is - and the network post makes it even easier. And then he's heading home, carrying a basket of fruit that Chainsaw used to be sleeping in, the raven flying above. He's on foot - he couldn't balance the basket and his backpack and Chainsaw safely on a moped - so it takes longer than he'd like.
Finally, though, he's pushing the door open to their house.]
Ronan?
[His voice is ever-so-slightly shaky. Some part of Adam, even knowing better, was afraid that he would never see Ronan, the real Ronan, again.]
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There isn't a ton of time to mull over it though, because Adam is opening the door and calling his name, and Ronan's head jerks up at the sound of it, before he's rushing forward to throw his arms around Adam's shoulders as quickly as he can. His heart is pounding for some reason, his breath coming out quickly and fuck, he's needed this, he's missed him somehow, even in death. Ronan remembers being horrible to him and it's hard to separate everything out in his head when he never meant to do any of it.]
Adam.
[He says the other boy's name on a relieved exhale, pressing his lips gently against the other boy's deaf ear. Ronan holds him tight, with the door still open and Adam hardly crossed over the threshold because he needs him and he needs to say so many things, but- this first. This is too important to not do.]
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Are you there? Are you okay?
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ar- you g-tting t-is?
bee- sen-ing y-u shit -ll day
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text. a while after sorrow's post.
( Such fanfare, much polite. )
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[The fanfare is returned in kind, of course.]
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10th | Audio
Don't get pissed but I'm glad you're still around. [ Along with Adam and Cecily and Kate. What would it have been like to come back to no one? ]
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[A bit wry.]
I'm never leaving this fucking place.
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