[ He hadn’t asked. It never would have occurred to Gansey to ask, in no small part because Ronan has never actually dated anyone while they’ve known each other. He should have seen it, though. They’re his best friends. He should have seen this building between them, known what to expect.
He’d been so busy worrying over what they’d think about him and Blue, hiding his own feelings, and then on the other hand, absorbing himself in a quest that seemed to be spiralling further and further out of his control, that he’d missed something obvious. And of course, there’s the time he’d spent away from them, too. Eleven months when they’d been together, and he’d been with them, in theory, but he might as well not have been for all that it matters now. Had he known during that time?
Suddenly, he misses the time when everything was simpler than this. Gansey feels like he keeps doing that, keeps wishing for things to go back the way they used to be, and of course that never happens. He can’t dwell on it. He has to go onwards and upwards, like always. That’s his mantra, the thing he tells himself, and the thing he tells all of them. But even though he knows it, he’s still never been all that good at change. ]
I didn’t. [ He smiles up at Ronan. ] I should have. I don’t want a gap between us.
[ That would be difficult with all of them – but with Ronan, its hardest of all. It’s been the two of them for the longest. He knows that change does not have to mean loss.
Even though it usually does. Even though it always threatens to. ]
Don’t thank me, though. [ An arch look, which he hopes betrays little of that worry. ] Just…let me know how it goes.
[Ronan shrugs nonchalant, but in truth, he doesn't want a gap between them either. It would be devastating, after all that they've gone through with one another, before any of the others were even in the picture. With all that they've done- mostly, what Gansey has done for him, if he's being honest.
He doesn't know what to say to it though, other than to simply agree and so he nods, and then nods again at Gansey's request. As much as he doesn't like talking about things like this, it's probably for the best if Gansey is at least aware of the situation as it unfolds, just so that he can avoid any minefields before he steps into them, this time.]
Sure.
[With that being said, Ronan offers his fist out to crash against Gansey's own, the conversation effectively over. It feels... better, actually, to have gotten that out in the open. For Gansey to know, for Gansey to accept it, to want this for them.
Besides, Ronan got some good advice out of this himself. Now, it's just a matter of trying to figure out how to apply it.]
[ Gansey bumps his fist on Ronan’s, and feels that much better about all of this. They’ll be okay. Regardless of how all of this happened, it’s less likely to come between them now that he knows it’s there. He wouldn’t have wanted that secret to be sitting – and he couldn’t have left it, anyway, knowing what Adam thought had happened.
Maybe they’ll fix it now. Maybe they’ll be together. That part is up to them. So long as they’re happy, Gansey will be too. ]
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He’d been so busy worrying over what they’d think about him and Blue, hiding his own feelings, and then on the other hand, absorbing himself in a quest that seemed to be spiralling further and further out of his control, that he’d missed something obvious. And of course, there’s the time he’d spent away from them, too. Eleven months when they’d been together, and he’d been with them, in theory, but he might as well not have been for all that it matters now. Had he known during that time?
Suddenly, he misses the time when everything was simpler than this. Gansey feels like he keeps doing that, keeps wishing for things to go back the way they used to be, and of course that never happens. He can’t dwell on it. He has to go onwards and upwards, like always. That’s his mantra, the thing he tells himself, and the thing he tells all of them. But even though he knows it, he’s still never been all that good at change. ]
I didn’t. [ He smiles up at Ronan. ] I should have. I don’t want a gap between us.
[ That would be difficult with all of them – but with Ronan, its hardest of all. It’s been the two of them for the longest. He knows that change does not have to mean loss.
Even though it usually does. Even though it always threatens to. ]
Don’t thank me, though. [ An arch look, which he hopes betrays little of that worry. ] Just…let me know how it goes.
no subject
He doesn't know what to say to it though, other than to simply agree and so he nods, and then nods again at Gansey's request. As much as he doesn't like talking about things like this, it's probably for the best if Gansey is at least aware of the situation as it unfolds, just so that he can avoid any minefields before he steps into them, this time.]
Sure.
[With that being said, Ronan offers his fist out to crash against Gansey's own, the conversation effectively over. It feels... better, actually, to have gotten that out in the open. For Gansey to know, for Gansey to accept it, to want this for them.
Besides, Ronan got some good advice out of this himself. Now, it's just a matter of trying to figure out how to apply it.]
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Maybe they’ll fix it now. Maybe they’ll be together. That part is up to them. So long as they’re happy, Gansey will be too. ]